Category Archives: Ponderings…

my thoughts…stuff that happens…whatever…whoaknowsa

on the urge…

to write.


When it comes,



‘cuz it may disappear

in a day or two.




Live and learn,


learn again.


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On the girl inside

Yes, sometimes I still feel like I’m 12… maybe 10.

I’m OK with that.

I’ve always felt like I have an “old-soul”


if I feel young at times,

I am grateful.

I recently got Kindle on my phone


have been enjoying free books from Amazon (who-a-knew-a-such-a-thing-existed).

This week

download a sample of Chrystal Evans Hurst’s,

“She’s Still There:

Rescuing the Girl in You.”

I didn’t really feel I needed rescuing,


she’s a fun writer.

I enjoyed her work.

It does have me pondering my past,

my little girl dreams…

I remember laying in the front yard watching the clouds,

seeing shapes…

When I drove by my childhood home earlier this week,

they have ripped out the bushes

that surrounded that front yard…


that made it feel private


wonderfully safe.

After having the house

in our family

for 46 years,

I’m still a little bitter.

I miss it.

Especially the gardens


VAST backyard – full of trees, a creek – woods to explore,


I digress.

I do that a lot.

I like to explore


that includes

my thoughts,

my emotions…

In Chrystal’s book,

she made a comment about wanting a house on the beach

when she was a kid…

I use to want to live in another country.

I still have dreams of living somewhere else…

I dream of mission trips too (which reminds me, I need to check with my good friend about exploring via mission trips… you know who you are, and I know you don’t like bugs,


I bet there’s something we could do/go with JMM…).


Needless to say,

I’ll be spending time pondering my childhood dreams in the days to come. If I have more to add… I will. Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!




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Filed under Books, Chickens, Country-living, Family, Fun, Nature, Ponderings..., Travel

on pop-tarts

Not the yummy name-brand ones,


the organic ones you find at Walmart & Target (.40 cent price difference, but guess who has more varieties, and always has stock… probably not the one you are imagining).

The things one is willing to do after marriage (the cool pumpkin carving was from our wedding, the caterer threw it in, no charge. Amazing.)…


I read nutritional labels before marriage,


now, it’s my life.

I don’t enjoy getting groceries.

Even less now.

Grateful the hubster seems to like stopping on his way home from work. He even on occasion brings home a treat for me, but he would never bring home a pop-tart, not even organic.

I’m sooo GLAD to have found them. I haven’t been fond of wheat since I learned they spray Round-up on it before harvest to increase yield. I don’t even use weed-spray or fertilizer on my yard/gardens. I don’t enjoy chemicals.


the WHOLE reason this popped in my head today was to share my sweet find: organic pop-tarts are edible, perhaps not as good as toast with jelly, but when you live an hour from everything, organic pop-tarts will do … especially when you have ran out of organic bread/crackers/chips, etc.

Some weeks, I eat them everyday (just one meal/day). Not this week, but I am glad to report, I’m getting better at staying home. It’s peaceful. Like BEYOND anything you have experienced. I LOVE it.


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Filed under Married-life, Ponderings..., Relationships

on gray hair

This week, I noticed the gray hairs that started after my 1st miscarriage have made their way into my bun/pony-tail…

I’m sooo excited.

They look more white too.

Makes me giddy.

I’ve wanted white hair since I was in grade-school.

“The best is yet to come.”


This week would have been the final week of my last pregnancy… 42 weeks is a LONG time. I feel like such a different person than I did when it began.

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On miracles

I like miracles.

I thank God for miracles.

I have plants that are miracles.

They should have


last fall,


they are thriving.


Earlier today,

I lost another hen

to a hawk,


unlike all the other losses this year,

I focused

my thoughts

on the miracles


has done with them

over this last year

instead of

all the deaths.

I did not lose any hens for 2 years.


Pastor spoke on miracles

this last Sunday.

Will post my notes from service soon.



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on $

God provides.


On the 2nd month anniversary of my marriage to Kurt.

I was reminded this morning that God provides.


Phil. 4:19 helps me.

I had put it on my bathroom wall before I was married…

I needed it.

I was down to working one day a week with no hope of going back to full-time at my current job. I didn’t have energy to look for another job.

My one day only paid for my health insurance, so every fill up at the gas station was coming out of my savings as well as every trip to the grocery store, every bill, every tithe… Everything I did.

A family member told my Mom almost daily that he didn’t think I’d get married…

I didn’t know myself. I had been single so long. So had Kurt,


He had been engaged before.

I already knew that come October,

I had to find a new place to live… even if for some reason the wedding didn’t happen.

My future was unsure.

I KNEW I didn’t have enough to start a new life.

I trusted God.

If He wanted me to marry Kurt,


all would work out.

I feel blessed to be married to a man that doesn’t insist that I work full-time. 

God provided.

Faith isn’t always easy.

Sometimes every day feels unsure.

Trust God anyway.

Speak His Word.

Over and over.

Thank Him when you see the answer!


Philippians 4:19
GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

19 My God will richly fill your every need in a glorious way through Christ Jesus.



We are now at 2 YEARS and 2+ months,

I’m down to one job instead of #3,


most of the time, I only have to work about once a month.

God provides.

Trust Him.

Follow His Peace.

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on the #9 day allergy-test

I would have gone longer,


my nose was swollen and tender from all the Kleenx.

It started because I forgot my daily allergy pill… and I slept better,

a lot better.

I haven’t slept well for more than 2 nights in a row since I got married 2 years ago,


needless to say, I was willing to give it a longer try.

I decided to stop taking my allergy pills for over a week…
I was able to breath the whole time (Miracle!),
but my nose did run on occas.,
& I sneezed some.
By the 8th night, I had a headache & ear ache… or was that due to an ‘issue’ with my husband… I don’t think God minds us questioning Him. I ask Him questions all the time.
I wasn’t sure that night, if the symptoms were a ‘sign’ I needed to re-start my allergy/sinus regimen – or – a side-effect of my drinking too much coffee that day?
I had cut back quite a bit lately, going for days without caffeine.
I was resting & sleeping better.
It was glorious!   Then after our marriage class on Sunday (9th day w/o Rx), we stayed at the church where they are teaching it, and the pastor after worship asked for anyone with ear issues to come forward to be prayed for… my husband elbowed me… I don’t enjoy going forward, but I’ll TAKE PRAYER!   As soon as I was anointed with oil, my ear started to crackle… which I realized I had not heard in a few days. Praise God = sinus-fluid is moving AGAIN! I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about my Rx(s), so I waited even though my nose was swollen & tender …
I woke EARLY in the morning the next day, and decided if I wasn’t going to sleep a full night, then I could end the ‘experiment’ of no allergy meds…
at least for this month.
Whoaknowsa, maybe in a month or two… oh, let’s be real, after the holidays, coffee won’t be as tempting. I’ll try to go off my allergy meds again in a month or so… maybe for a few days… then eventually build up to a few months, and hopefully one day, not need them anymore.
I can remember a time I only needed ’em in the fall of the year (almost 20 years ago), so the fact I was even able to do this at this time, while gardening, is a miracle all in itself.  Dust is my #1 allergen (We even have several hens who are currently molting, so LOTs of dust-mites!).
God is so good to help me – even in this! :)
Since writing this – my other ear has started to crackle… which is actually a good sign.  
December update:
Last holiday is tonight.
I start another sleep study next week – they are paying me this time! God is so cool!
There is NO coffee to be perked in the house…
just a wee-bit of instant left…
chocolate does NOT have the same effect as coffee… I tried yesterday.
I got #5 new hens this week too… so more time with the birds = more sneezing…
maybe I’ll try no allergy pill as soon as I remember to buy the good decongestant at the store and finally have clear, crackle-free ears.
Best to start with a ‘clean’ slate.
I also learned, it’s one of my allergy pills that causes problems with my sleep… so I’m alternating,
as one of the other…  more effective allergy pills puts me into a semi-coma state.
I do remember life without allergies… I’m going to focus on that in the New Year.


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Filed under Chickens, Country-living, Family, Garden, Married-life, Medical, Nature, Ponderings..., YUCK!