Category Archives: Movies

on “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis

I just finished the book – only 4 chapters,


I made sure not to read more than one every day or so…

kind of like

when I read his book,

“Screwtape Letters.”

I figured one chapter would be all that I could handle,

especially since I ‘felt’ God was leading me to read it.


It’s been two years since my 1st pregnancy. Time sure does not wait for us to process loss…

I’m grateful C.S. Lewis shared his process…

it ended well.

I’m glad I read it.

I smiled several times in the last chapter.

Just in time to cry listening to a fellow church member share his loss of his brother-in-law.

God’s timing is perfect in all things. I’m glad He made this book stick out to me in this time. I was ready.

Crying is good.

Smiling is good.

I like how in the end, C.S. Lewis went for walks…

in order to sleep at night.

That piece of advice

would help MANY!

He was only married a short time,

and his wife died of cancer… there’s a movie, and yes, I saw that too, but so many years ago, I only have vague shadows of memory of it.

Here’s what stuck out to me from the book if you are interested in reading more…

In the foreword by Madeleine L’Engle, written in August 1988:

“The death of a beloved is an amputation.

Like Lewis, I, too, kept a journal…

It is all right to wallow in one’s journal;

it is a way of getting rid of self-pity and self-indulgence and self-centeredness.

What we work out in our journals we don’t take out on family and friends.”

Introduction written by Douglas H. Gresham:

“… one man’s studied attempts to come to grips with and in the end defeat the emotional paralysis of the most shattering grief of his life.

a small, tight-knit group which became known as ‘The Inklings,’ and which has left us with a legacy of literature. J.R.R. Tolkien, John Wain, Roger Lancelyn-Green, and Neville Coghill were among those who frequented these informal gatherings.

Helen Joy Gresham (nee Davidman), the ‘H.’ referred to in this book, was perhaps the only woman whom Jack ever met who was his intellectual equal and also as well-read and widely educated as he was himself. They shared another common factor: they were both possessed of total recall. Jack never forgot anything he had read, and neither did she.

Jack’s upbringing was a mixture of middle-class Irish… and English, set in the very begininngs of the twentieth century

the daughter of two lower-middle-class Jewish second generation immigrants, her father of Ukrainian, her mother of Polish origins, she was born and brought up in the Bronx in New York City.

I had yet to learn that all human relationships end in pain – it is the price that our imperfection has allowed satan<I refuse to dignify him w/capitalization.> to exact from us for the privilege of love. I had the resilience of youth upon which to fall when Mother died…

I had Jack to lean upon,

poor Jack only had me.

It took me almost thirty years to learn how to cry without feeling ashamed.

on reading through them some time later, he felt that they might well be of some help to others who were similarly afflicted with the turmoil of thought and feeling which grief forces upon us.

her death was delayed long enough for him to grow to love her so completely that she filled his world as the greatest gift that God had ever given him, and then she died and left him alone in a place that her presence in his life had created for him.

For further reading,

I recommend

‘Jack: C.S. Lewis and His Times’


George Sayer (Harper & Row, 1988; Crossway Books) as the best available biography of C.S. Lewis;

Lyle Dorsett’s biography of my mother,

‘And God Came In’

(Macmillan, 1983);


a viewpoint of our family life, my own book <Douglas H. Gresham>,

‘Lenten Lands’

(Macmillan, 1988; HarperSanFrancisco, 1994).”

Chapter One:

“… There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says.

Yet, I want others to be about me.

If only they would talk to one another and not to me.

I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much.

It is easy to see why the lonely become untidy, finally dirty and disgusting.

We both knew we wanted something besides one another – quite a different kind of something, a quite different kind of want.

Her absence is like the sky,

spread over everything.

It is incredible how much happiness, even how much gaiety, we sometimes had together after all hope was gone. How long, how tranquilly, how nourishingly, we talked together that last night!

Even nature isn’t such a clown as that. She never plays exactly the same tune twice.

Chapter two:

Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.

I know that the thing I want is exactly the thing I can never get.

all that stuff about family reunions ‘on the further shore,’ pictured in entirely earthly terms. But that is all unscriptural, all out of bad hymns and lithographs. There’s not a word of it in the Bible. And it rings false. We KNOW it couldn’t be like that. Reality never repeats. The exact same thing is never taken away and given back. How well the spiritualists bait their hook! ‘Things on this side are not so different after all.’

Why do I make room in my mind for such filth and nonsense? Do I hope that if feeling disguises itself as thought I shall feel less? …

And grief still feels like fear. Perhaps, more strictly, like suspense. Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen. …

It doesn’t seem worth starting anything. I can’t settle down.

Chapter Three:

Just this apathy, this dead flatness? Will there come a time when I no longer ask why the world is like a mean street, because I shall take the squalor as normal?

Grief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead; physical pain is like the steady barrage on a trench in World War One, hours of it with no let-up for a moment. Thought is never static, pain often is.

God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t.

The less I mourn her the nearer I seem to her.

Chapter four:

Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.

I do all the walking I can, for I’d be a fool to go to bed not tired.

Praise is the mode of love which always has some element of joy in it.

The sense that some shattering and disarming simplicity is the real answer.

Attention is an act of will.”


“<>” mark my comments


I got it from the library,

inter-library loan.

It was donated by the Schlanker Funeral Home in April 2014 to the Montgomery City Public Library in Montgomery City, Missouri.


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on Rich Mullins

“Awesome God”

one of the songs I find myself humming, often.

Written by this man.

Katie introduced me to his music,


which I am forever grateful.

His songs have ALWAYS helped me,


when going thru hard times.

I watched “Ragamuffin” – the life of Rich Mullins last night with Kurt.


“He lived honestly and did not conform.”

He never knew how much he made,

he didn’t want to know.

His accountant donated the majority of his money to churches and charities.


I also learned he died 5 months to the day after my Dad in 1997.

That summer the world lost Mother Theresa and Princess Di too.

What a year.

The year I graduated from college.

Then today

on my Faceook memories –

In 2011

at my aunt’s church,

the assistant pastor was preaching:

“Pharisees had it all right doctrinally,


they looked in the face of Jesus Christ and rejected Him.”

– Pastor Steve Moreno

There’s live-scenes of Mullins

at his concerts


during the credits.

Good stuff.

He reminds the audience that going to church is better than buying a ticket to a concert. “They love u and care for you.”

One of my in-laws got to see him live.
It affected him.
He really did go around bare-foot!
His story
reminded me of my desire to work on an Indian Reservation
I got my nursing degree… my Dad died weeks before I graduated,
changing my life forever.
I didn’t have another plan,
clearly God did. Romans 8:28
His life… I’m so curious…
My Dad was from Indiana too.

I can’t believe he died in Peoria, IL…

at age 41.

I was 41 and 1/2 years old, to the day, the night I watched the movie about his life…


I sense there is something You want me to do, to be… I will do my best to obey.

I love You.

He was born October 21,

I watched the movie about his life on the 22nd.


He would have been 60 his year.

Did they ever release his Jesus album?

He wrote and recorded

on cassette

in his boyhood church (the songs for it) before he died.

Not in a studio.

I still cry whenever I hear Michael W. Smith sing his songs… crying now. Cried last night watching the movie.

I found this while researching:

 Michael W. Smith said of Mullins, “His life and music has impacted me more than anyone I know.”

“…Rich refused to let his struggles… tear him away from a God he was determined to love.”
I’m so glad Katie & I went to all those Christian concerts. They helped me.
I’m so glad Mom had me in church in the womb.
I’m glad I’m still in church… where people want to know God more.
Off to watch the deleted scenes,
there’s a message from Dave Mullins (?brother?)…
commentary too.
Lots about his life, I want to research… what is God trying to tell me? I will seek until I find.

It’s raining…

God is good.

I’d like to bake today too.


I think God has called each of us

to live for Him

to fulfill the call He has on our lives

to spread the Word about Him.


In my research I found more I want to see and hear:

Homeless Man,

a video documenting Mullins’s life,

includes the testimonies of hundreds of people,

from Colombian and Navajo Children

to pastors and pop musicians,

who were deeply touched by time spent with him.

Recently Myrrh records released

The Jesus Record.

It features ten demos recorded by Rich in an abandoned church just nine days before his death.”

Katie says this record is one of her favorites.


She’s been listening to him since high school,


never saw him live.

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on Mater

Ya know from the movie “Cars.”

Yes, I like Cartoons.

He was my favorite character.



I was behind his real-life version on the highway today… best part:  the gun rack had an umbrella and a cane, the driver was a bit over the hill.



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On more FREE stuff around STL !!!

This guy rocks!







I love FREE!!!



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on FREE summer movies

Pick your closest theater…


the cheap show in South County is doing as well, fliars available on site: Lemay Ferry Road…

not online yet: = they own other theaters as well.

I’m sure Wehrenberg and AMC will not be left out… check out their websites, and have fun this summer!

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on video study

Instead of a lecture or a book… it’s a movie.

I really like it.

Fall Book Study

For the Whole Church

Reinhard Bonnke Evangelism Study

Wednesdays, September 29 – November 3

7:00 – 8:30 PM • Worship Center

We will be studying Full Flame, a video series by Reinhard Bonnke. There will be teaching followed by small group discussion. Afterward, connect with people and enjoy refreshments. You will receive a free discussion guide the first night of the study. Sign up for this free study by using the tear-off in the weekend bulletin, or call Vicki at 636.733.8321. There is no book to purchase. Bring your Bible and notebook.


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On recent movies

An 80s flick that’s really not worthy of mention, but it helped me to put a dent into some hand-sewing I want to finish.   “Dune” wasn’t that fabulous either. Yet, one of the reasons I like winter… I actually take the time to enjoy audio-visuals.

“10,000 BC” which I really did like.  Same peeps made “2012” which is currently out at theaters.  My Mom and brother are currently out viewing Cameron’s “Avatar”… I wasn’t in a social-mood.

“A Good Year”… which takes place in a beautiful town in France as well as some in London.

“Kingdom of Heaven” was WAY better than I expected… in fact, I plan on watchin’ it again on a bigger screen… totally wish I had seen this one on the 40′ screen.

“Family Man” with N.Cage was a GREAT view.

A friend loaned me her DVD sets of not only SG-1, but also Atlantis for the last few years. All movies and series are FINALLY finished. I haven’t even put a dent in my Mom’s collections.  Ah well, it’s good to have goals.


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