on the urge…

to write.


When it comes,



‘cuz it may disappear

in a day or two.




Live and learn,


learn again.


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Filed under Ponderings...

On the girl inside

Yes, sometimes I still feel like I’m 12… maybe 10.

I’m OK with that.

I’ve always felt like I have an “old-soul”


if I feel young at times,

I am grateful.

I recently got Kindle on my phone


have been enjoying free books from Amazon (who-a-knew-a-such-a-thing-existed).

This week

download a sample of Chrystal Evans Hurst’s,

“She’s Still There:

Rescuing the Girl in You.”

I didn’t really feel I needed rescuing,


she’s a fun writer.

I enjoyed her work.

It does have me pondering my past,

my little girl dreams…

I remember laying in the front yard watching the clouds,

seeing shapes…

When I drove by my childhood home earlier this week,

they have ripped out the bushes

that surrounded that front yard…


that made it feel private


wonderfully safe.

After having the house

in our family

for 46 years,

I’m still a little bitter.

I miss it.

Especially the gardens


VAST backyard – full of trees, a creek – woods to explore,


I digress.

I do that a lot.

I like to explore


that includes

my thoughts,

my emotions…

In Chrystal’s book,

she made a comment about wanting a house on the beach

when she was a kid…

I use to want to live in another country.

I still have dreams of living somewhere else…

I dream of mission trips too (which reminds me, I need to check with my good friend about exploring via mission trips… you know who you are, and I know you don’t like bugs,


I bet there’s something we could do/go with JMM…).


Needless to say,

I’ll be spending time pondering my childhood dreams in the days to come. If I have more to add… I will. Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!




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Filed under Books, Chickens, Country-living, Family, Fun, Nature, Ponderings..., Travel

on pop-tarts

Not the yummy name-brand ones,


the organic ones you find at Walmart & Target (.40 cent price difference, but guess who has more varieties, and always has stock… probably not the one you are imagining).

The things one is willing to do after marriage (the cool pumpkin carving was from our wedding, the caterer threw it in, no charge. Amazing.)…


I read nutritional labels before marriage,


now, it’s my life.

I don’t enjoy getting groceries.

Even less now.

Grateful the hubster seems to like stopping on his way home from work. He even on occasion brings home a treat for me, but he would never bring home a pop-tart, not even organic.

I’m sooo GLAD to have found them. I haven’t been fond of wheat since I learned they spray Round-up on it before harvest to increase yield. I don’t even use weed-spray or fertilizer on my yard/gardens. I don’t enjoy chemicals.


the WHOLE reason this popped in my head today was to share my sweet find: organic pop-tarts are edible, perhaps not as good as toast with jelly, but when you live an hour from everything, organic pop-tarts will do … especially when you have ran out of organic bread/crackers/chips, etc.

Some weeks, I eat them everyday (just one meal/day). Not this week, but I am glad to report, I’m getting better at staying home. It’s peaceful. Like BEYOND anything you have experienced. I LOVE it.


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Filed under Married-life, Ponderings..., Relationships

on gray hair

This week, I noticed the gray hairs that started after my 1st miscarriage have made their way into my bun/pony-tail…

I’m sooo excited.

They look more white too.

Makes me giddy.

I’ve wanted white hair since I was in grade-school.

“The best is yet to come.”


This week would have been the final week of my last pregnancy… 42 weeks is a LONG time. I feel like such a different person than I did when it began.

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Filed under Coolness, Family, Married-life, Medical, Ponderings..., quote

On 21 years…


He does.

He REALLY does…


works ALL things out for good = Romans 8:28.

It’s been 21 years since my Dad died.

21 years.

An adult life.


I was 23 when he died

I forgot my birthday the next year…


was it two…

Death. Sudden death is hard,


ALL of life’s challenges are difficult.

I need to live the next 21 years




I survived,

I learned,

sometimes re-learned…

I explored.

I learned to hope, believe & trust.

I let Him LOVE me.

He’s a good God.

He’s faithful.

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On “help me with my unbelief”

✝️💒FCC Sunday, 3-11-18

Miracles series
-Pastor Josh Earls

Matthew 11:11
J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
11 “Believe me, no one greater than John the Baptist has ever been born of all mankind, and yet a humble member of the kingdom of Heaven is greater than he.

God help me overcome my disbelief.

No doubt.
1. God does not condemn us or abandon us.
2. God meets us @point of need. Where r u in pain/suffering.
3. God imbues/impregnates us with faith.

to impregnate or inspire

Winston Churchill
imbued them
with character & resolve
during World War.
He would go out & help w/re-building.


Mark 9:14-27
The Voice (VOICE)
14 When they reached the rest of the disciples, Jesus saw that a large crowd had gathered and that among them the scribes were asking questions. 15 Right when the crowd saw Jesus, they were overcome with awe and surged forward immediately, nearly running over the disciples.
Jesus (to the scribes): 16 What are you debating with My disciples? What would you like to know?
Father (in the crowd): 17 Teacher, I have brought my son to You. He is filled with an unclean spirit. He cannot speak, 18 and when the spirit takes control of him, he is thrown to the ground to wail and moan, to foam at the mouth, to grind his teeth, and to stiffen up. I brought him to Your followers, but they could do nothing with him. Can You help us?
Jesus: 19 O faithless generation, how long must I be among you? How long do I have to put up with you? Bring the boy to Me.
20 They brought the boy toward Jesus; but as soon as He drew near, the spirit took control of the boy and threw him on the ground, where he rolled, foaming at the mouth.
Jesus (to the father): 21 How long has he been like this?
Father: Since he was a baby. 22 This spirit has thrown him often into the fire and sometimes into the water, trying to destroy him. I have run out of options; I have tried everything. But if there’s anything You can do, please, have pity on us and help us.
Jesus: 23 What do you mean, “If there’s anything?” All things are possible, if you only believe.
Father (crying in desperation): 24 I believe, Lord. Help me to believe!
25 Jesus noticed that a crowd had gathered around them now. He issued a command to the unclean spirit.
Jesus: Listen up, you no-talking, no-hearing demon. I Myself am ordering you to come out of him now. Come out, and don’t ever come back!
26 The spirit shrieked and caused the boy to thrash about; then it came out of the boy and left him lying as still as death. Many of those in the crowd whispered that he was dead. 27 But Jesus took the boy by the hand and lifted him to his feet.


No argue/debate while someone suffering.


A gospel
as well as


He has Logos, the computer program.
No “miracle” mentioned in Bible,
We can’t define it,
Creates a place of worship.


Trust God for everything.

Profound need

medical issues/relationships/emotions.


About grandpa@74,
Jesus in room last few days.
“Relieved to know,




Faith is always stretching.

one more step.


“Help me with my unbelief.”


Opportunity to take step of faith=card to write on… no have to put name on it…

what do u need?


We ask not
We believe not.

Post it for 4 weeks during series (in lobby).

Opportunity to take step of faith.




Expect the unexpected.



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Filed under FCC, Quotes, The Word

On miracles

I like miracles.

I thank God for miracles.

I have plants that are miracles.

They should have


last fall,


they are thriving.


Earlier today,

I lost another hen

to a hawk,


unlike all the other losses this year,

I focused

my thoughts

on the miracles


has done with them

over this last year

instead of

all the deaths.

I did not lose any hens for 2 years.


Pastor spoke on miracles

this last Sunday.

Will post my notes from service soon.



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Filed under Chickens, Coolness, Country-living, FCC, FREE, Nature, Ponderings..., Relationships